It was only a Kiss, How did it end up like this?
by Arclight279
Summary: Modern AU: After showing up at a party thrown by Octavia, things get complicated for Raven when she sees her ex-boyfriend Finn and the girl he cheated on her with Clarke there. A few drinks later and she's locking lips with Clarke in a game of spin the bottle and it was after which she realised she may gotten more than she bargained for. Set from Raven's perspective. Clarke x Raven
1. The Kiss

**Disclaimer:**

**I do not own the characters associated with this work. It is a work of fanfiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are products of my imagination (unless otherwise stated) or if real, are used fictitiously and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. All statements, activities, stunts, descriptions, information and material of any other kind contained herein are included for entertainment purposes only and should not be relied on for accuracy or replicated as they may result in injury.**

**A/N: **

**Hi there, **

**So this kinda came to me in a dream and went from there. In one of my other stories, I've looked at things from Clarke and Lexa's perspectives. But in this one I wanted to look at things through Raven's eyes. I've always kind of wanted to do an AU as well so this drabble has been the result of that desire. There are references to drinking and there is some coarse language so you have been warned!**

Walking through the front door of this massive frickin house gives me an indication of the gap in wealth. I mean really it must be like one big gloat fest all the time. Big house, fancy cars that sort of thing; so it's only natural that I feel a little out of place.

See that person there standing awkwardly just inside the doorway? That's me, Raven Reyes probably the one person here who doesn't look like she belongs. The house I'm standing in, that belongs to my friend Octavia, or should I say her mom's uber rich boytoy.

So naturally when the cats are away the mice will play, i.e. Octavia throws a massive party and invites just about anyone. It ends up being a casual gateway to underage drinking and a soft core porno most of the time.

So why am I here you ask?

Well for starters, it beats the hell out of hanging out all by myself at my Foster parents place, although they wanted some alone time so they practically pushed me out the door anyway. I also figured I'd try and sneak a peek at some of those rides which hardly get taken out for a spin.

Everyone knows me as 'that mechanic chick' I guess. It fits because whenever I get the chance I like to toy with anything mechanical, to see how it works, to improve performance and just to get things running in general.

There's nothing quite like popping the hood of a car and going to work with what's under the hood. It's more than just something I can do though, it's my passion and I love doing it, there's nothing I've liked better.

I see some partygoers walk across the hall with those clichéd red cups in hand, no doubt filled with liquor and I turn toward the door on my right which is likely to take me to the garage.

"Raven! You made it!"

I stop dead in my tracks and turn to face the bright sunshiny girl bounding closer to me,

"Well I couldn't miss one of your parties now could I?"

That girl who was made up and accessorised like a runway model is none other than Octavia Blake. It was easy to see why she was popular given how she took no crap from anyone plus she seemed to know everyone. Thanks to her stepdad she always was in style which made her both loved and hated.

She was the kind of girl that other girls wanted to be but also hated because she always got plenty of attention from all the boys.

"You look the same as always do Raven. Like you don't give a shit about anything."

Her eyes darted towards the door I was nearest,

"You were going in to the garage were you?"

I gave a casual shrug and put my hands up in a gesture to say 'did you expect anything different?' She sighed,

"At least join in the party, grab a drink and flirt with some boys so you can take one in there with you."

I rolled my eyes as I followed her into this huge living area where people were playing drinking games, card games, pool and god knows what else. Look over there in that corner! Can you see those people playing strip poker? Christ get a room!

I'm not surprised to see that one of the guys participating in that game is Finn, my ex-boyfriend who cheated on me while I was out of town for awhile on a trip with my foster parents.

Octavia grabbed my hand and thrust a drink into it and grabbed my other hand and led me up a staircase. I'm not artist at least not in the usual sense of the word but there was some pricey shit on the walls. Still amazed me the kind of money people waste when they have too much of it.

Speaking of artists I saw one as Octavia pulled me into the room which must have been her destination all along. There were a few people in here already, Lincoln, Octavia's boyfriend, Jasper and his girlfriend Maya, Fox, Harper, Monty, Wells, Miller and last but not least the artist Clarke Griffin.

We all went to school together, well except for Lincoln who was in college. There was an awkward moment when Clarke's eyes met mine. Awkward because she was the girl the Finn cheated on me with.

I remember being so mad at her that I could think straight as I blamed her for the breakdown of my relationship with Finn. But slowly I came to realise that it may have happened eventually anyway and she just happened to be the unlucky girl he picked. She talked to me about it months later and explained that he had told her that he and I had already broken up.

Clarke and I aren't all that close other than running with the same crowds so it's not like there was some friend code violation or whatever. Just like there isn't an instruction manual on how to deal and act around someone who your boyfriend cheated on you with.

So it was just my luck that who else should walk in, wanting to join in on whatever Octavia had planned but Finn himself. He at least had the decency to not meet my eye. It's a good thing Octavia gave me that alcohol after all as this could be a long night.

After a series of drinking games, I was starting to feel a little tipsy as I grabbed another drink. I hadn't exactly planned on getting drunk or part the way there, but I wasn't sure I could be in the same room as Finn and be nice I guess.

So at least by having a few drinks my care factor dropped below zero.

"Okay guys and dolls let's do something I've wanted to do for awhile," Octavia said as she turned down the music.

She stumbled across and grabbed an empty beer bottle and placed it on the ground in the middle of the circle of those sitting in the room.

"We're gonna jump into the retro zone for a bit now and play a classic game of 'spin the bottle.'"

I rolled my eyes as I put the bottle I had to my mouth and took another swig of whatever it was I drinking. I didn't look at the label I just knew from the smell it was alcoholic.

The game begun as we all watched the bottle spin seeing who it was going to land on. There were some innocuous rounds in which other guys kissed girls but I didn't see any action. I had a good laugh when Finn spun the bottle and it landed on Miller but neither guy wanted to go through with it so that got made to do something else stupid separately.

"Raven it's your turn next, god knows how you need to get some," Octavia said her mouth to brain filter all but dissolved now. I flipped her the bird and placed my bottle down and picked up the empty one so I could give it a spin.

I watched as it begun to slow, wondering who it was going to stop and point at. I didn't have to wait long and when it did there was a few ooohs and laughter as I was teased. The bottle was pointing at Clarke.

Well fuck.

A few more than awkward seconds passed before Octavia intervened,

"Can anyone think of something we can get Raven to do seeing as she's not going to do it?"

I waved her off as I crawled across the circle to Clarke,

"Who said I wasn't going to do it? I'll actually man up and do it, unlike Finn."

I heard a cry of ohhh burn! Which I think came from Jasper as I placed one hand on Clarke's cheek and pulled her towards me. Our lips met and after the initial shock from doing something slightly scandalous, the two of us eased into it.

Distantly I could hear the cheering and hollering from those who watched us but I wasn't paying attention to them. It had been awhile since I last kissed anyone and I'd never kissed another girl before but this felt amazing. Her lips were softer and more pliable than any boys were and man it felt good to just let go for awhile.

"Uh you two can stop now," I heard Octavia's voice and Clarke slowly pulled away and both our eyes opened at the same time.

I don't know if it was the alcohol that was giving my inhibitions the finger but my eyes stayed locked on her lips before travelling up to look directly into those baby blue eyes of hers.

How the fuck did she manage to look so pretty all the time? Wearing a cute white beret, grey scarf and shit my alcohol addled mind processed that she was wearing mixes of white and grey elsewhere and that it was designer stuff too but my brain was switched off now more than ever.

I was in nothing but my customary jeans, singlet, beanie and combat boots. I'm sure I looked like riff-raff in comparison but whatever; I wasn't out to impress anyone.

We both wore identical expressions of shock I'm sure of it. Hers was probably shock that we'd actually done it, everyone knew that she had a crush on Octavia's brother Bellamy but my shock was how good it actual felt and how any residual hate I had for this girl had vanished at the touch of her lips.

Fuck, tomorrow at school was going to be awkward as hell.

**A/N:**

**So that's all for now. Let me know what you think by leaving a review. As always if you did like what you read, follow and/or favourite the story and I'll churn out more chapters for y'all. **

**Thanks for reading!**


	2. The Awkwardness

My stepmom pounding on my bedroom door woke me up the next day,

"Raven! Hurry the heck up or you'll be late for school!"

Ughhhhhhh.

My head was fucking killing me. The pounding on the door hadn't helped at all. Why the shit did I have to drink at all last night?

I rolled out of bed and hit the floor with a thud. I pushed myself onto my feet and headed for the bathroom still clothed fully from last night. I stripped down and showered as quickly as I could.

Looking in the mirror as I attempted to make myself look passable for alive in my own devil may care way, I could see that my eyes were a little bloodshot. _'Good thing I ain't going to a fucking beauty pageant then,'_ I thought sarcastically.

I threw on a white low cut tank top, some jeans and my usual combat boots. My hair was pulled into its characteristic pony tail.

I made sure I wore my sunglasses to block out the brightness of the sun's rays as I pulled out of the driveway moments later in my red classic pickup. It wasn't one of the nicest cars to be in the school's lot but I was damn proud of it. Picked it up for a steal and fixed it up from scratch myself.

I took pride in that fact and that I'd worked damn hard for it, unlike the rest of these silver spooners with their flashy machinery they likely knew nothing about other than the brand name and the badge on the front.

As I pulled into a free space I could see Clarke across the lot walking into the building nearby and last night's events came flooding back to me. Octavia's fancy house, the drinking games, spin the bottle and then the kiss. I swear my lips tingled when I thought about it specifically and it was likeliest the girliest I've ever felt.

Shit this was going to be awkward.

Quickly rushing into my first class, Art (I swear I can explain!), you guessed it right in that I shared this class with Clarke. The only free seat just happened to be next to her as well.

I am the butt of the universe's latest joke.

Pretty much everyone else in the class was at the party too and judging from some of the looks they sent my way especially by the boys (Typical!), they'd obviously heard where my tongue had been last night.

I snuck a quick peek at Clarke and when she caught this not so subtle attempt I spun back around almost as quickly, knocking my things I'd gotten out as my inner dialogue raged on, right onto the floor.

"Son of a bitch!" I exclaimed as a few chuckles of those closest by could now be heard.

"You must have the foulest mouth of any young lady I've ever taught."

This brilliant insight from the teacher of this class, Mr Wallace. _'Stick around pops you ain't heard or seen nothing yet.' _My face flamed with embarrassment though as I hastily gathered up my things. One look from Clarke and I was a hot mess. What was wrong with me?

I was ordinarily terrible at this class but today I was even worse than I normally was. I could swear that I could feel her eyes on me every so often and that made concentrated pretty damn difficult.

When the bell rang signalling the end of the period I was relieved and I hurried out of there without a backward glance. Fortunately in any of the other classes I had before lunch I was able to get a seat further away from Clarke.

Just when I was starting to feel good about how the day was going again it came back in full force as I entered the cafeteria.

The awkwardness that is.

I just grabbed some random food, paid for it and went to join my friends at our usual table. The trouble was, the only seat available was directly opposite Clarke. When Octavia had seen that I had stopped in my tracks, her mischievous grin told me that maybe she'd planned this as part of some joke.

That bitch.

I took my seat as if a drunken lesbian kiss between Clarke and I had not taken place the night before and took a bite out of the apple that was on my tray.

"So when's the wedding you two?" Octavia asked me as she openly acknowledged and embraced the awkwardness.

I slugged her in the arm with a fist, half playfully and half not so much. When I looked over at Clarke she looked down quickly, _'was she blushing?'_

"Your line was priceless too Raven…I'll man up and do it," Finn paraphrased in a poor imitation of my voice.

How could that clown keep sitting there and talking to me as if he'd done nothing wrong?

"Well surprise, surprise I actually did Finn and you know what?" I snapped, pausing for effect as I gave him a stern glare, "She's actually a way better kisser than you ever were."

I got up leaving my tray of uneaten food there and grabbed up the apple. I walked over to him and shoved it into his open, gaping mouth,

"How do you like them apples?"

I walked away from my group of friends as they jeered and teased Finn. I realised with a shock that my words were really true though. She was a better kisser than he was but I wasn't sure why I left though. Was it because Finn was being a dick and I didn't want to deal with anymore of his shit?

Or was it because I was embarrassed that my friends' might discover that, that kiss was more than just a random hookup and potentially something more for me?

Thankfully the rest of the day passed without incident or so I thought. I stayed behind to let everyone else get out before I did so there'd be no chance of any further ribbing I might receive for today at least.

Walking out into the lot, I saw that there were only two cars that belonged to students still parked there. One was mine and the other belonged to Clarke. I looked up and cursed the heavens for constantly putting me in situations where I'd run into her.

Judging by her pacing and mild distress, her car clearly wasn't starting. Sighing I walked over to see if I could help out. I watched as her eyes widened in shock and then a look of relief passed over her face as I approached,

"Raven! Thank god you're here! My car won't start and I know nothing about any of this," her hands gesturing wildly to her car, "Can you help me out?"

I took a quick look under the hood of her car and told her to try starting it. I listened intently as it failed to start. I got right in there and played around with a few of the leads and checked levels of various fluids and told her to try again. This time though the sparks ignited and the car started.

"Thanks so much Raven! I don't know what I'd have done without you!"

She flung her arms around me and pulled me in for a quick hug. I stood there stiffly not because I was a jerk but my hands were now a little filthy and likely wouldn't come out of her outfit.

She stepped back and realised what she'd done and looked awkwardly at the ground, her cheeks a little pink. I looked to the side as I answered her,

"You probably would have called in a tow truck and had someone pick you up I guess. Anyway, if there's any other problems you know where to find me."

I started to walk past her and I felt her hand on my arm,

"Do you want to come hang out this afternoon? It'll just be the two of us I swear."

I turned and looked at her seeing her open, honest and warm smile on her face which was making me want to accept. But I felt like I hadn't been myself since after that kiss. I mean, I couldn't really be attracted to her could I? Surely it was just because I was drunkish and hadn't had much "action" as Octavia would say in awhile.

Putting some distance between Clarke and me would straighten things out, no pun intended.

"Oh thanks Clarke, but I've kinda got to do some more work on my car and I promised I'd look at the neighbour's car too."

She looked disappointed and I instantly felt bad as the guilt twisted in my stomach.

"Oh ok…maybe another time then," she replied lamely as I watched her then get in her car and speed away with a small wave and smile in my direction.

Was the princess of Ark High possibly interested in a lowly mechanic like me?

**A/N:**

**So that's all for now. Let me know what you think by leaving a review. As always if you did like what you read, follow and/or favourite the story and I'll churn out more chapters for y'all. **

**This is something I'm trying to have some fun with, just to do some 'guerrilla writing' is what I'm calling it. Essentially what I'm trying to do is write what comes into my head and spin it around to fit in with this and see where it goes from there. **

**Thanks for reading!**


	3. The Confrontation

For the last week and a bit, I'll shamefully admit I've been trying to avoid Clarke as much as possible. Not because she's been harassing me or anything like that, mostly because well I'm sure how to just be myself when she's around anymore.

There are always butterflies in my stomach, my breath seems to shorten and I feel hot and flustered. All of the above seems to get worse when we make eye contact and even this gets taken to the next level when she smiles at me.

In the rare instances in which she's talked to me, which has been more than usual, I've been tongue tied and I've always tried to avoid talking for any longer than necessary. I've seen by the look on her face that she's hurt by this but it doesn't seem to have put her off.

It's definitely going against my plan to put some distance between us and let these so called feelings disappear. If anything they've gotten more intense. I haven't had anyone pursue me for one reason or another as much as Clarke has been trying.

When Finn and I got together, it just happened you know? We had been friends for awhile and it was just comfortable for both us that we ended up together. Since he cheated on me though, I haven't put much effort into getting out into the dating game.

I've had more than a fair share of boys try to get into my pants largely because of the challenge I suspect. But trusting someone with my heart again, _'Jesus how girly does that sound?'_ is not an easy thing to do.

I am the tough girl because it's who I need to be to make it through this life. Having no parents or siblings makes it hard and Finn was someone who I thought would always be there for me.

Now that he's broken my trust I'm all alone once again and I can't dwell on that fact or break down because that's not what tough girls do. That's not what I do because I'm a survivor.

I was busy getting some books and other junk out of my locker for my next period when our next encounter took place. I shut my locker and turned to head off to my next class when there she was standing there.

I jumped slightly in shock more than anything else as seeing her was unexpected,

"For fuck sake Clarke, you scared the shit outta me!" My moment of fright somehow composing me in her presence.

I tried stepping around her but she took a step to the side blocking me off,

"Raven, how come you keep avoiding me?"

It was a simple question but I didn't know what the first thing I'd say should be. I decided to play dumb,

"I haven't been avoiding you Clarke."

I tried to walk past her again but she stopped me once more,

"Don't fucking lie to me Raven. You've been acting weird ever since we kissed at Octavia's party. You've been acting even weirder around me," she looked a bit confused as she continued, her features softening just a little, "Did I do something else to you for you to give me the cold shoulder? I thought we were passed the whole Finn thing."

I took in her appearance and noticed that she was trying to dress more casually, with jeans and a t-shirt but she still looked pretty fucking stylish and sexy. _'Wait what?'_

I'd never been great at beating around the bush so as usual, I jumped in with both feet and gave it to her straight,

"Of course you did something to me! That kiss and you being you have been mindfucking me ever since. I feel all confused around you now and I can't tell how if what I'm feeling is real or not, which is why I've been trying to avoid you. But I can't avoid you and part of me doesn't want to and I don't know what to do."

We were both likely to be late for class but it didn't seem to matter to either of us now. She stared at me in surprise probably at my girliest outburst ever. I'd say I talk about my feelings as well as a guy does.

I'm sure that what I just said was not what she was expecting. As the silenced dragged on, it was apparent that she wanted to say something and she would open her mouth as if she was going to, only to close it again as if she thought better of it.

"Are you saying that you're…you're attracted to me Raven?" She finally managed.

"Yes. No. I don't know!" I responded with.

I felt immediately stupid for having said anything at all. I mean, why would Clarke Griffin, super popular, super smart and plain fucking hot feel the same about me? She was going to be a doctor or a famous artist; she already had boys throwing themselves left, right and centre at her so what would she see in me?

I doubt she was even attracted to girls anyway. I hadn't even considered being with a girl until after that kiss, but with that and the way I'd been treated by boys so far, I was ore open to the idea.

I really didn't want to think anymore about any of this shit. I couldn't be here in this same place as her and I needed to get away. She was starting to say something else but I cut her off,

"I gotta go, I'll see you later Clarke."

I turned my back on her confused face and walked out to the lot, hopping into my pickup and driving away. I drove around for awhile before I ended up back at home having not much else to do.

I was likely to get into trouble for ditching from both the school and my foster parents but whatever. I'd deal with that later. Right now I had the whole house to myself, so I opened the fridge, grabbing a beer and headed out to the garage to spend some more time fixing things and keeping my car in good nick.

I'm not sure how long I was in the garage but it must have been a few hours which I'd measured by the few beers I'd managed to down which gave me a slight buzz. I was underneath my car when I saw a pair of legs approach the garage up the driveway.

I had no idea who it was so I wheeled out from underneath the car and got up to see that it was Clarke. When she caught my gaze she smiled and I felt a strong flush of desire,

"What are you doing here princess?"

She frowns at my use of the nickname many have called her by as I grab my beer and take a sip before I remembered my manners which my foster parents tried so hard to drill into me, "You want one?" I asked holding up the beer.

She shook her head and I shrugged as if to say 'suit yourself.'

"I came here because I need your help with a problem," she paused to let it sink in and I nodded and waved my hand as if to say 'get on with it.'

"See there's this girl who might like another girl and every time she tries to talk to the other girl who she knows might like her back the other girl runs in the other direction almost as if she's scared of what she might be feeling."

It sounded like a fucking riddle but I eventually caught on,

"But what if the girl who runs has a good reason or two for running? She doesn't want to be fucking betrayed again by someone she might feel something for."

Clarke was unfazed by what I'd just said however. She stepped forward backing me up until I ran into the hood of my car as she stepped into my personal space,

"Then I'd say to that girl to give the other girl a chance and she might be surprised by what she finds."

I gulped, my throat suddenly dry, my usual snarky wit evading me. How was it that she was affecting me so much?

I watched her walk away from me slowly and she gave me one last smile before getting back into her car and driving away. I was still frozen in the same spot even for a few minutes after she left.

What the hell do I do now? Do I go after her? What would I even say?

Holy shit.

That kiss had turned into a full blown crush.


	4. The Stare

I stood there, outside the front door of Clarke's house, which is fricken huge by the way, trying to summon up the courage to knock or ring the doorbell or whatever. I hadn't wasted much time in going after her that afternoon so here I stood playing the hand I'd been dealt.

I wasn't familiar with this feeling of nervousness. I was more of a jump in with both feet kind of girl, you know, to hell with the consequences and all that. So why the shit was I afraid to go inside and face her?

Fuck it, I'm being stupid.

Raising my hand to knock, my fist met nothing but air as the door suddenly opened in front of me and there she stood. I felt fucking stupid and was about to cover my brilliance of failing to knock with a sarcastic comment until I saw her smile.

That smile could do all kinds of things to a girl and I'm sure it had a certain effect on all the boys who saw it.

"Oh hey Raven! Do you want to come in and hang out? Or would you rather stand out here on the doorstep all afternoon?"

She was fucking teasing me and I loved it. Don't think I didn't notice how I started twirling some of my hair around my finger. All I needed to do was start giggling like a dumbfuck bimbo and the image would be complete.

"Yeah, sure. I ain't got anything better to do."

I'm sure she wasn't fooled by my attempt at playing it cool but it was better than looking like a moron drooling over her sexy bod.

Could the real Raven Reyes please stand up and take this pod person away please?

I could see that her house was just as expensive as Octavia's. The place practically screamed money from all the high priced shit on the walls down to the way it just plain looked. I mean you can tell the difference between a house made of money and something that any bozo can get just by looking at it.

Shit, it looked like one of those pads you'd see on MTV cribs. All that was missing was the camera crew to follow her around as she gave the tour and well you get the picture.

I whistled as we entered her upstairs bedroom,

"Nice digs princess," I commented as my eyes took in the splendour she woke up to each morning. I practically lived in a hovel in comparison.

She frowned, "I wish people would stop calling me that!"

I raised an eyebrow, as an amused grin appeared on my face,

"Well you do practically live in a castle."

I felt the full force of her glare and I held up my hands as if to say 'don't shoot the messenger.' My room could easily fit in here twice. There was a large double bed, which faced a wall on which a flat screen rested. There was an easel off to the corner, along with a whole host of art supplies and of course there was the usual dresser and generic shit like that.

Paintings lined the walls and I wondered for a moment if any were her creations or if they were just by some artists I'd never heard of.

"Do you want to sit down and watch a movie?"

The sound of her voice had me looking back over at her now as she sat on the edge of her bed. I shrugged and then walked over to her. I honestly didn't know where to go from here. I can say that putting on a movie was not really the reason why I came over here.

Neither of us seemed to be willing to address the huge MFing elephant in the room. You know the one I'm talking about right?

The one that was pink about yay big, floating up near the ceiling that was the metaphorical representation of our attraction that neither of us seemed to talk about now that we were alone and sober.

Well soberish in my case.

She ducked out of her room for a few moments, so I took the opportunity to take a seat on her bed and browse through the endless selections available on Netflix. She came back in with a couple of sodas in her hand and handed me one as she sat down pretty much right next to me.

I wasn't paying attention to whatever it was she ended up picking. What I mean to say is that I saw whatever it was she picked but after a few minutes of watching and my interest levels dropping, it was hard to concentrate on anything but her.

I took a swig or two of my soda and placed it on the floor not far from where I sat. I almost joined it on the floor after what I saw next. I turned my head to face Clarke about to say something when what it was I was going to say, packed up and took the first train outta there.

Her face was not far from mine and I was struck dumb by the look in her eyes. She was looking at me like there was nothing else going on in the world right now. It was kind of that look of wonder I'm sure I got at least for a little while when I stumbled into a place that was too rich for me.

I watched as her eyes darted down to look at my lips and it was hard not to do the same, so fuck it, I couldn't stop it even if I wanted to. I wondered if it would feel the same as it did the first time we kissed.

I was the first to look away though, this all didn't seem real. I felt her hand on my cheek, which brought my face level with hers again.

"I don't know what you've done to me Raven, but gosh I want more of you."

She leant in, her lips almost on top of mine as she paused. Maybe she thought I'd pull away again, or maybe she was giving me the opportunity to. I was frozen on that spot though.

She was asking me what I'd done to her. I'd like to know what the fuck she was doing to me. In the small space of time since that first kiss, I'd already started to think, feel and act differently and not just around her. God knows how I fought it, denied it and convinced myself I was being a fucking idiot. But maybe I was wrong.

Shit this crap was turning into something from one of those daytime soaps that bored sexless housewives would watch. Here I was certifiably nuts about this girl who seemingly wanted me as much as I wanted her (whether I'd admit it or not). What made it even crazier was, this was the girl who my ex-boyfriend cheated on me with.

Just when I was sure she was going to kiss me though, a loud rap on the door startled us both and ended the 'moment' that we'd been having. I was flustered and looked away from her before I scooted away so there was some distance between us.

"Clarke!" The voice of her mom Abigail came from the other side of the door before she walked in.

"Oh! You've got a friend over. How lovely!"

Her attention was briefly on me before it turned back to her daughter,

"Don't forget I've got that dinner this evening and I'd really like it if you'd come along with me."

Clarke sighed,

"I know mom. I'll make sure I'm ready," she said sounding more than a little resigned.

I looked over at the clock and noticed that it was later than I thought it was. I really had to leave; otherwise I'd have to fend for myself food wise. My foster parents were pretty messed up in that if I wasn't there by a certain time they wouldn't bother feeding me.

I stood up,

"I should probably get going. I'll see you tomorrow Clarke."

She looked a little sad that I was leaving but shit I mean fuck. Maybe I'd be able to think clearly now that I was not around her.

Did I really want to get involved with her? Shit, who was I kidding? It wasn't a question of whether I'd get involved with her; it was how much I was going to get involved with her?

She was already under my skin and it freaked me the fuck out. I'd had some pretty bad experiences where relationships were concerned so would one with Clarke be any different (aside from the obvious)?


	5. The Crumbling Wall

Several days passed since that moment up in her bedroom and I hadn't seen Clarke since then. What had happened to her? I couldn't understand why she wasn't at school. She was little miss perfect attendance and now takes the time to disappear off the face of the Earth.

Did it have anything to do with what almost happened? I found school boring most of the time, but this place was even duller than usual with her walking its halls. At lunch, I sat with all my friends but the only one I wanted there wasn't. I pushed the food around in front of me, barely taking more than a few bites.

"What's up with you Raven? You're so not yourself today or the last few days," quipped Octavia, diverting unwanted attention my way.

I bristled though at her comments. What would she know? Everything just happens perfectly in the life of Octavia Blake, at least in recent times.

"Everything's fine. Why the fuck wouldn't it be?" I replied as I sat up straighter a smile on my face.

It was convincing enough that pretty much everyone else glanced away. Eventually Octavia did the same after a few extra seconds of looking at me suspiciously. It was far from the truth though.

I did it all the time throughout my life, pretended everything was okay. How could I not though? Having been bounced around the foster system getting some average to shitty "parents" and growing up without any real family made life tough. Finn was the only person I'd really trusted and cared for and look where that got me.

She yeah I was fucking scared. Yeah I was fucking worried. It freaked me the fuck out just how intense things had been when I was around Clarke and how despite my best efforts I was considering letting her in.

I felt kinda stupid that I was getting so worked up over her taking a few sick days but when you start to feel connected to someone as I was, sometimes you just didn't think straight.

I wasn't even an out and out lesbian and even that pun was bad.

I'd never felt this out of control of a situation before. All signs were pointing to one road and I knew there and then that I needed to put this to rest or I'd lose what little sanity I still had left.

I rose to my feet and left my largely untouched food on the table and walked out to my car and drove away, fully intent on finding Clarke.

My first stop was at her house but both Clarke and her mom were absent. I had a moment to think about where she might be before one of the many staff that was employed to maintain the house informed me of her whereabouts.

It turned out that I'd be making a stop at the priciest place to put dead bodies for miles. You guessed it folks; I was headed to a cemetery.

I found myself a parking spot and begun the search for Clarke. It was amazing how much people actually paid for this kind of thing. I mean don't get me wrong, I knew they had to but some of the headstones were outrageous and would have cost a small fortune.

Although I suppose if you could afford to stick the body of a loved one here, the money was not an issue. I imagined that they had some premium website advertising their services with plenty of pictures of what exactly your money would get you. Everything looked pretty spotless and immaculate for a place where hardly anyone visited.

After searching row upon row of long unvisited tombstones, I spotted her sitting, facing a headstone which I presumed was the one belonging to her dad.

I approached as quietly as I could, each step that brought me closer made me wonder if coming here was such a good idea after all. She appeared to be having a private moment and I really didn't want to intrude as I watched her.

Crunch!

Went the sound of a twig under my foot as I stepped back, fully intending on leaving her to her thoughts. She whirled around, her eyes locking onto me,

"Raven? What are you doing here?"

Well it was too late to leave now. I might not have to quit my day job to become a spy after all with my stealth skills lacking. I took a seat next to her as I took in her appearance. Even when she'd been crying she was that much prettier than the other girls at our school.

"I came looking for you. You've been gone for days and I was thinking about you."

She sat up a little more at my words and brushed some hair out of her face,

"Why though? What led you here?"

Fuck, I was torn between wanting to shake her and hold her. How could she not see it? I looked down though for a moment,

"I went to your house and the staff told me where you were and…and damn it I was worried about you. I could take feeling like there was nothing I could do and that this whole situation is driving me up the wall."

I sat there staring away across the rows of tombstones. She was silent after what I'd just told her and this wasn't helping anyone. Why wouldn't she just say something, anything? I turned my head to see what was up when it happened.

She didn't give me any warning as I felt her kiss me. My eyes widened in shock and I didn't react at first. I did pull away though, not because I didn't want to kiss her back but people did shit they regretted all the time when they were emotional and I didn't want to finally do this for her to turn around and say it was a mistake later on.

"Clarke…" I started to say before her lips met mine again and I just gave in. Closing my eyes as I kissed her back the two of us no longer holding anything from each other. Her hand brushed my cheek before resting there as if to keep me in place.

I was uncomfortable so I turned my body, interrupting our kiss before I through myself back at her as we ended up on the ground a tangle of limbs. My hand travelled up her neck and wound its way in her hair letting her know that this was ending when I wanted it too.

Our tongues swirled and danced in each others mouths all that pent up emotion releasing and I knew that my resistance to her would fall like a crumbling wall. The way her lips felt on mine and the way her tongue felt had me thinking what it would feel like elsewhere on my body.

As we both pulled back, I gripped onto her bottom lip with my teeth and mouth, biting down gently before I released it. We were equally out of breath and far from satisfied but sated for the time being. Our foreheads pressed together gently as we gazed intently at each other.

"Are we really doing this?" I had to ask her.

"We may have skipped a few steps but yes let's do this. Don't think you get out of taking me out on a date or two though Mechanic Girl."

I smiled at her attempt at a nickname,

"And miss out on a chance to make all the boys jealous princess? I wouldn't pass up that opportunity."

I thought about something and through my head back and groaned,

"What's up? What are you thinking about?" She asked me.

I looked over at her again,

"You do realise that Octavia's going to give us some much shit about this, we'll never hear the end of it."

She shrugged her shoulders, "Does it really matter what she or anyone thinks or does though?"

I ran a hand down her side and watched her shiver under my touch,

"Fuck no it doesn't matter. Now shut up and kiss me."

Life was certainly going to get interesting around here now that we'd eventually caved to one another's lust. There were a million questions and thoughts racing through my head which I was sure we were going to have to address later.

But the main one for me was, was Clarke really going to go steady with me? Or would she chalk this up to some lapse in judgement brought on by her emotional state of mind?


	6. The Coming Out

So here we both stood outside in the parking lot waiting to go in. I look to my left at Clarke and see that she's looking a little bit nervous. Like a skittish animal who'll run off at the first sound that startles her.

After our unexpected second kiss the other day, we'd spent the weekend hanging out just the two of us but this was heading into the unknown for both of us. Yeah our friends had seen us make out drunkenly at a party but to them it was done as part of a game.

They had no idea that it had turned into something more. Even though I wasn't really fussed what the fuck they thought it was obviously something Clarke was hoping would go well. I mean here was this girl who was great at public speaking amongst other things, a natural leader and she was visibly nervous.

I reached over and twined my fingers with hers. I wasn't one to be all mushy and romantic but holding hands was probably the least overt and non-sexual way to say that we're seeing each other.

A smirk plastered itself across my face as I thought of how she'd react if I'd chosen to grab her arse instead. She seemed to relax as she looked over at me because of our clasped hands and my calm appearance.

We walked into the school to face the music so to speak, heading first of all to our lockers which were coincidently side by side. We didn't share our first period together and before we parted I took a chance to catch her off guard.

I placed my arms around her neck and kissed her quickly, a pleased smile on my face at her shock because of my PDA.

"Get used to it princess. Everyone will know you're my girl soon enough."

I really had no idea what exactly went on in that first period. I felt all floaty and couldn't keep my mind off of her. Shit…if I wasn't careful I'd turn into the world's mushiest girl in no time.

I'd never really felt this way about anyone before. It started to make me wonder what I'd even been doing with Finn. The more I thought about it, the more I realised I'd never been in love with him. I might have thought I'd loved him at some point but now with all this that had been going on with Clarke, I knew that I had no idea what love might have been up until now.

Wait…love? Hold the phone sista.

That was the bucket of cold water that was dumped unceremoniously on my head. Stay cool Raven and don't get carried away, you don't want to scare her off or look like a fucking moron from one of those cheesy romcom's.

There was no way that I should be feeling as strongly about her as I was this early right?

Right?

Now I was nervous as hell when I walked into the cafeteria at lunch. In the times that I had been in the same room as Clarke, I tried to avoid her gaze or anything as much as humanly possible. I probably looked like a totally weirdo but I was afraid that the moment I'd look up and see her looking at me, confetti or some shit would drop from the ceiling and a band would stroll in playing.

A giant sign would illuminate itself with this arrow pointing at my head and it would read 'In Love with Clarke Griffin' and more than one secret would be coming out of the closet.

Anyway, paying for food which I never looked at to see what I was grabbing (don't judge me! Variety is the spice of life after all) I hesitantly took a seat next to Clarke. She looked at me with a confused expression. Yeah she definitely knew something was up.

So much for my budding career in espionage.

I tuned into the conversation which was as usual being led by the self-anointed queen of the school Octavia.

"…long story short, I was thinking that those of us who are coupled up or can swing a date would go out and see a movie at that drive-in place, it'll be totally old school!"

I watched Harper roll her eyes before being the first to respond,

"Octavia's stuck in the retro zone guys, I'm sure this phase will pass. But sure why not?"

Octavia punched her on the arm at her friend's teasing before turning her laser-like gaze onto Clarke &amp; I,

"Now I know there's a certain someone who is keen on a reunion Clarke so you could have someone to cuddle up with during the scarier parts," she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively implying that cuddle was just a euphemism (yeah I learnt what that means the one time I paid attention in English. Don't look at me that way! I was bored.)

"So what do you say Clarke?"

What was this feeling that flared up inside of me right now? This anger that came out of nowhere when Octavia suggested Clarke cuddling up to someone else. Could I…was I…jealous?

I used that opportunity before Clarke had a chance to answer to slide my hand into hers and twine our fingers together. Lifting our hands and placing them on the table in front of us and in clear view of everyone else.

Here goes nothing.

I rubbed the back of her hand softly with my thumb as I said,

"I'm pretty sure she's covered in that department Octavia. So what time are we meeting there?"

I tried to hide the smirk that was coming onto my face as I watched Octavia's mouth hang open as she looked down at our hands and then back up at the two of us,

"Real funny Raven, you really sold it with the kiss at my party, but seriously you got me!"

"Do I look like I'm joking O?" I retorted as I placed my other hand to turn Clarke's face towards mine, leaving my palm against her cheek as I kissed her.

This kiss (#3 fuck yeah!) wasn't as long as the others but it was long enough so that she could see that it wasn't just me kissing Clarke, it was her kissing me back. I pulled back to see a shy smile on Clarke's face which slowly morphed into a frown and a slightly horrified one on Octavia's which only made me laugh.

"How and when the fuck did this happen!?" She demanded as we now had the full attention of everyone seated with us and even some passers by.

I really think she prided herself on knowing about all the gossip that flowed on the grapevine through the school. I swear she was even a little hurt that she'd been completely in the dark on this.

It had been one hell of a risk going so public like that and revealing a small portion of what was starting to develop between Clarke and I. She wasn't the kind of person who liked to display her private life so publicly.

Lucky for her, I'd always been a rip the band aid off kind of girl.

I looked from Octavia to Clarke as I said,

"Should you tell her or should I?"


End file.
